Monday, December 3, 2012

On Cycle #11: 7DPIUI Ultrasound & Bloodwork and Next Steps

I had my 7DPIUI bloodwork and ultrasound today. I didn't get my hopes up about my lining, and I'm glad I didn't - it was only 5mm. This is after the increased Endometrin (300mg daily) and alot of hoping and praying on my part.

The nurse, actually, my favorite nurse, just called me a little bit ago with the results and with some news. The office caught on fire today. She said it was really bad and that they are all working off of their cell phones in another building. I felt awful but it speaks to the practice's dedication to their patients.

Anyways, she told me about my lining and asked if I'd been doing my Endometrin as prescribed. I, admittedly, had slacked off in previous cycles, missing doses and what not - but had really been on my game this cycle. I friggin plan my life around this crap and the ridiculous side effects. She said that I need to come in tomorrow to learn how to give myself progesterone shots. Something else to add to my repertoire.

She told me not to lose hope about this cycle (is not losing hope even possible when you are on this journey and the doctor's office calls with any news other than "you're pregnant!"?), but that the RE's recommendation is that if I'm "not pregnant in a few cycles", I should move to injectibles.

The same news the original RE told me.

The reason I sought a 2nd opinion from this practice.

The thing is, moving to injectibles in and of itself is not all that distressing to me. I know it'll be a lifestyle change, and there will be alot of work on my part (not that there isn't already), but I'm accepting of that. I have already accepted that my husband and I will not get pregnant "the easy way". Any baby I have will be the result of endless talks with nurses and doctors, endless needle pokes, endless ultrasounds, and endless tears. We will not ever get to be carefree about this journey. Every little thing will have some meaning to us along the way.

The thing that frightens me about the injectible medications is that if they don't work, it's onto IVF we go.

Of course, DH had already left for work when I got the phone call. So, when I called him with the update, I really tried to stay strong. He asked if injectibles are what I want to do - but the answer is always the same, what choice do I have? I want a child. I'll do whatever I need to do to have a child. THAT is what it comes down to.

I hung up the phone with him and have been just crying since.

I just made this my Facebook status, and it basically completely sums up how I feel - my complete & total Type-A personality does not understand a task where you do all of your research, follow all of the directions, do everything right, and still fail. I am not accustomed to not achieving things I set my mind to and do my best at.

7 comments:

  1. Ugh :'0( I was really hoping they'd give you some better news

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  2. Denielle, I've been reading your blog for a few days. I just wanted to say that while I wish you had received better news about your current cycle, doing injectibles is not the worst thing in the world and it gives you a much better chance of conception than inducing ovulation with oral pills. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go the IVF route. I know a lot of people have been able to conceive with injectibles on the very first try. I was also terrified of IVF (still am) but starting injectibles gives you a much higher chance of conceiving than of going on to IVF. Good luck.

    I blog about my own infertility issues and my blog is linked in my profile in case you are interested. It is rather heavy reading though.

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  3. S&R - thanks for stopping by and commenting. I know it's not the end of the world, but moving from one step of treatment to the next is always a bit of shock to my system. I responded well to the oral meds, but with my thin lining, they were not a good match for me. I'm hoping the injectibles are a better match. I'll stop by your blog once we return from vacation - I always like reading about the journey of others and getting more insight into things. :)

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  4. I should add that I also had minor issues with my lining while I was on clomid (no lining problems with non medicated cycles, it was the clomid that thinned out my lining), but the injectibles are supposed to help with that and they did help me.

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  5. Yeah it seems as though I have naturally thin lining, so I'm excited to see what the injectibles do.

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  6. Love ya girl! Many hugs headed your way.

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