I feel like I've hit "rock bottom" on this journey. Although, honestly, part of me feels like there are still new lows to hit in this journey.
My rock bottom is not being able to be happy for a friend who just found out she's pregnant.
Jealousy? Yes. Happiness? Not so much.
This is my rock bottom because I consider myself a truly loyal and caring friend. To not be able to share in her joy, or the joy of other pregnant women, KILLS me.
I've been joking with DH and some friends that if I'm not pregnant soon, they'll be sending me off to the psychiatric ward.
The ONLY good thing about rock bottom is that means you can't feel any worse and you can only go up from here.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry my friend. It doesn't make you a bad person that instead of happiness you feel jealousy and a good friend would understand that.
I guess the problem is that I'm not completely convinced this is rock bottom, lol. I feel like because I've been let down so much in this journey, there are still some all-time lows to accomplish. LOL.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are feeling is normal. Just know that. You are going through one of the hardest things you may ever have to deal with. You are strong and will make it through. My best advice is to put yourself first. It may sound selfish but right now that is what you need. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
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