Well, what an insane couple of days.
Starting around last Sunday, I started feeling "off". Just not myself, nauseous, decreased urine output, and this insanely itchy rash all over my body. I thought maybe it was PUPPs, so I just figured I could hold out until my OB appt on Wednesday. I was taking cold oatmeal baths and using my Sarna lotion but the itching made me want to rip my skin off. I couldn't sleep at all.
At the OB appt on Wednesday, my OB drew lab work to test me for Cholestasis of Pregnancy. I had a girlfriend who had it during her first pregnancy and I knew it was hell for her. I read 1 website on it and then had to stop myself because it sounded so desperate and scary.
I spoke to my OB Thursday and seemed to be getting worse. He wanted me to come in Friday. Friday morning, I started gathering things because I was pretty sure he was going to have me admitted to the hospital again. Sure enough, he wasn't loving what he was seeing. My blood pressure was still creeping up and my urine dip had me at +4 protein (really bad). He said they would be admitting me... I said "but not like to deliver the babies, right?" And he said "we ha w to see what we are dealing with."
I lost it completely.
Thankfully, he was able to talk sense into me, and after gathering some things at home, DH & I went to the hospital.
They started me on steroid shots to help develop the babies' lungs and started monitoring me and the babies immediately. I also started a 24 hour urine collection to monitor my protein. They thought they found some sort of infection, so I was also started on antibiotics.
We then were taken to Maternal Fetal Medicine for a consult with the perinatologists. Thankfully, the ultrasound showed that both babies were doing amazing - 4lb8oz each, their fluid levels were good, and their membranes were still in tact. The perinatologist was not nearly as concerned as my OB about my blood pressure and was actually able to talk my OB down from having me start an awful medication for my pressure (magnesium sulfate).
We would not be delivering the babies that day. I was beyond thankful.
My midwife visited me and said I looked alot better than I did on paper. I was monitored all night, which is difficult and makes it so I can't sleep. As soon as I move an inch, one of the twins move and the nurses rush in to relocate them on the monitors.
I spent all of Saturday on my back so they could trace the babies, which was extremely uncomfortable for me and was raising my blood pressure. I wasn't having much urine output either (which they were monitoring) because of being flat. The results of my 24 hour protein came back and I was at 2460 - pre-eclampsia diagnosis is at 300. It was devastating to me.
We had a consult with a neonatologist on Saturday. She herself is the female half of a boy/girl twin set and she has a set of boy/girl twins - so I felt like she totally understood where I was coming from. She said due to their great size and me being over 32 weeks, she thinks we won't have to worry about the normal major preemie issues. They would still be an automatic NICU admission if born under 36 weeks, but she made me feel more confident about things.
Yesterday, my midwife came back and we were discussing everything. I said "so how long do you think I'll be here?" (Thinking I would be discharged on Monday aka today.) She said "1-2 weeks... Until you deliver."
I have never cried so hard. I knew it was a probability (my OB told me after my last admission that if it happened again, I would be admitted until I delivered), and I know it's the best for me and the babies, but it was still unbelievable to hear her say it. I wasn't going home until I had my babies. I couldn't sleep next to my husband or our dog. I was confined to this hospital.
And besides that, it meant I would definitely be delivering these babies alot earlier than I had ever anticipated... And even though the neonatologist made me feel more confident about it, it is still upsetting. I will have premature babies.
Since then, things have really kind of turned around. I was moved to a less acute care floor and no longer have the 24 hour monitoring of the babies, so I finally slept last night. My blood pressures have been awesome and my urine output has seriously increased. All of my lab work has been great and I don't seem to be fighting infection anymore.
At this point, I'm just catching up on really crappy TV and enjoying keeping my babies baking.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
On my 3D/4D ultrasound, my baby shower, & my 1st hospitalization
I have been so overcome with circumstances and a crazy life that I've been neglecting my poor blog. When I had originally started this, it was mostly to track all my infertility stuff and to just remember every step of that journey. Now I like using my blog to remember everything with my pregnancy.
On 07/01, I had a regular appointment with my OB. I should preface this by saying that I had spent that weekend in high celebratory fashion.
Two days before, on Saturday, we had an appointment for a 3D/4D ultrasound of the babies. We had made a little event out of it, inviting some close friends and family. Both of my parents had been acting a little weird all week and making weird comments, so I knew something was up. Well, lo and behold, my sisters had all flown in. Not only was that day the day we would see the babies' faces, but it was also my baby shower. :)
At first during the ultrasound, neither baby would cooperate. They were both laying on their bellies and refusing to turn. I drank a Sprite really quick (sugar always gets them going), and soon enough, they started to cooperate.
In the 2nd set, you can see Ryder opening his eyes and Brynley smiling. :)
I had always said that I thought they would have my family's cheeks and DH's family's nose - and it looks about right. I think it's funny they have similar features, although Brynley definitely looks more feminine to me. <3 Brynley is such a bully, kicking her brother in the head the entire time, lol.
So, after the ultrasound, I went home to relax for a bit, get changed and head to the baby shower. It was really an awesome time. My friends and family did a Dr. Suess-themed shower, and it was just perfect. I was so overwhelmed with how generous everyone was, my children literally will not need any clothes through 9m size and we got all of the "essentials" for when they first come home. There is very little we will need to purchase!
Sunday was spent unloading all of the stuff in our house and attempting to organize some of it. That night, we had a big group dinner at a (sodium-rich) Mexican place that I love for my birthday. Afterwards, we went bowling. Yes, you read that right - my big pregnant ass bowled. This will all come into play later, lol.
The next day, I had my OB appointment. I had been stressed all day at work because I knew it would be my last day before my maternity leave. I had also noticed that I was super swollen. I really didn't think much of it, I mean, yes, of course my diet had been crap that entire weekend and I had went bowling, but whatever. Well, when I went to the OB, the scale showed an 8lb gain from 2 weeks before. Now, I weigh myself literally every day to watch for fluid retention. I hadn't weighed myself that morning because I knew it wasn't going to be good. But 8lb seemed excessive. I had done 24 hour urine collection 2 weeks before and my protein was at 178, which is low.
Then, my blood pressure was high - like 165/90. I have documented white coat syndrome, so I didn't think much of it. Normally, they'll have me do my appointment and then afterwards re-check my pressure, and I'm fine. So, we went with that. The appointment wasn't crazy, the doctor did pull me from work, and afterwards, I sent DH home since I was just going to have my pressure checked and I assumed I'd go back to work to get my things.
Notsomuch.
After about an hour of my blood pressure not getting below around 148/80, the doctor said he wanted me sent to the hospital for 24 hour observation. I was shocked. I had to call DH, ask him to pack me some things, call my parents, tell them what's going on, and then go to the hospital. I was a hysterical mess before leaving the OB and then again once I got to Labor & Delivery.
The hospital stay, in and of itself, was unremarkable. I had to do 24-hour monitoring of me, my blood pressure, any contractions, the babies' movement and heart rates, and 24 hour urine collection. I couldn't sleep because I was hooked up to a million machines and everytime I moved, the babies moved, and they would have to readjust my belly monitors. Of course, throughout the stay, my blood pressure was amazing and low. I spent most of my time just thinking about the babies and watching trashy tv. My nurses were all great, but I just could not get comfortable, and that hospital bed was the worst thing I've ever laid in. After about 26 hours, my OB discharged me and I went home. The protein in my urine was around 280, which is still under pre-eclampsia levels.
I was sent home with strict instructions to really start taking it easy. My protein levels seem to flip flop, so there is definitely correlation between me taking it easy and my protein being better. I can also see a huge difference in my pedal edema when I'm relaxing in bed versus running around like a loon. Since the hospitalization though, I've had ungodly carpal tunnel syndrome. Apparently, it's super common in pregnancy and general consensus is that there's not much you can do. DH got me some wrist splints, which I've been wearing while I sleep, to help with the inflammation. I literally can't hand write things, can barely type, and go from pins & needles in my hands to complete numbness. Awesome.
I should also add that I failed my 1 hour glucose test (by 3 friggin points!) My OB said under normal circumstances, I would've passed, but I'm held to a higher standard by the perinatologists. I did my 3 hour test on 07/08. It really wasn't as horrible as everyone makes it out to be. I survived, and I'm assuming I passed because I haven't gotten any crazy phone calls from the OB's office.
On 07/03, we got to see the babies again for a growth scan. Brynley was weighing 2lb15oz and Ryder was weighing 3lb1oz. As always, Bryn was kicking her brother in the head and generally, not being cooperative. Both babies are measuring ahead and looking great. We go back on 07/30 for our next growth scan.
On 07/01, I had a regular appointment with my OB. I should preface this by saying that I had spent that weekend in high celebratory fashion.
Two days before, on Saturday, we had an appointment for a 3D/4D ultrasound of the babies. We had made a little event out of it, inviting some close friends and family. Both of my parents had been acting a little weird all week and making weird comments, so I knew something was up. Well, lo and behold, my sisters had all flown in. Not only was that day the day we would see the babies' faces, but it was also my baby shower. :)
At first during the ultrasound, neither baby would cooperate. They were both laying on their bellies and refusing to turn. I drank a Sprite really quick (sugar always gets them going), and soon enough, they started to cooperate.
I had always said that I thought they would have my family's cheeks and DH's family's nose - and it looks about right. I think it's funny they have similar features, although Brynley definitely looks more feminine to me. <3 Brynley is such a bully, kicking her brother in the head the entire time, lol.
So, after the ultrasound, I went home to relax for a bit, get changed and head to the baby shower. It was really an awesome time. My friends and family did a Dr. Suess-themed shower, and it was just perfect. I was so overwhelmed with how generous everyone was, my children literally will not need any clothes through 9m size and we got all of the "essentials" for when they first come home. There is very little we will need to purchase!
Sunday was spent unloading all of the stuff in our house and attempting to organize some of it. That night, we had a big group dinner at a (sodium-rich) Mexican place that I love for my birthday. Afterwards, we went bowling. Yes, you read that right - my big pregnant ass bowled. This will all come into play later, lol.
The next day, I had my OB appointment. I had been stressed all day at work because I knew it would be my last day before my maternity leave. I had also noticed that I was super swollen. I really didn't think much of it, I mean, yes, of course my diet had been crap that entire weekend and I had went bowling, but whatever. Well, when I went to the OB, the scale showed an 8lb gain from 2 weeks before. Now, I weigh myself literally every day to watch for fluid retention. I hadn't weighed myself that morning because I knew it wasn't going to be good. But 8lb seemed excessive. I had done 24 hour urine collection 2 weeks before and my protein was at 178, which is low.
Then, my blood pressure was high - like 165/90. I have documented white coat syndrome, so I didn't think much of it. Normally, they'll have me do my appointment and then afterwards re-check my pressure, and I'm fine. So, we went with that. The appointment wasn't crazy, the doctor did pull me from work, and afterwards, I sent DH home since I was just going to have my pressure checked and I assumed I'd go back to work to get my things.
Notsomuch.
After about an hour of my blood pressure not getting below around 148/80, the doctor said he wanted me sent to the hospital for 24 hour observation. I was shocked. I had to call DH, ask him to pack me some things, call my parents, tell them what's going on, and then go to the hospital. I was a hysterical mess before leaving the OB and then again once I got to Labor & Delivery.
The hospital stay, in and of itself, was unremarkable. I had to do 24-hour monitoring of me, my blood pressure, any contractions, the babies' movement and heart rates, and 24 hour urine collection. I couldn't sleep because I was hooked up to a million machines and everytime I moved, the babies moved, and they would have to readjust my belly monitors. Of course, throughout the stay, my blood pressure was amazing and low. I spent most of my time just thinking about the babies and watching trashy tv. My nurses were all great, but I just could not get comfortable, and that hospital bed was the worst thing I've ever laid in. After about 26 hours, my OB discharged me and I went home. The protein in my urine was around 280, which is still under pre-eclampsia levels.
I was sent home with strict instructions to really start taking it easy. My protein levels seem to flip flop, so there is definitely correlation between me taking it easy and my protein being better. I can also see a huge difference in my pedal edema when I'm relaxing in bed versus running around like a loon. Since the hospitalization though, I've had ungodly carpal tunnel syndrome. Apparently, it's super common in pregnancy and general consensus is that there's not much you can do. DH got me some wrist splints, which I've been wearing while I sleep, to help with the inflammation. I literally can't hand write things, can barely type, and go from pins & needles in my hands to complete numbness. Awesome.
I should also add that I failed my 1 hour glucose test (by 3 friggin points!) My OB said under normal circumstances, I would've passed, but I'm held to a higher standard by the perinatologists. I did my 3 hour test on 07/08. It really wasn't as horrible as everyone makes it out to be. I survived, and I'm assuming I passed because I haven't gotten any crazy phone calls from the OB's office.
On 07/03, we got to see the babies again for a growth scan. Brynley was weighing 2lb15oz and Ryder was weighing 3lb1oz. As always, Bryn was kicking her brother in the head and generally, not being cooperative. Both babies are measuring ahead and looking great. We go back on 07/30 for our next growth scan.
On 30w & being thankful
I'm 30 weeks pregnant today. This signifies many things for me - namely that if I were to deliver now, I wouldn't necessarily need to deliver at the higher tiered hospital with the bigger NICU (which is about an hour away), but rather deliver at my home, and chosen, hospital with the smaller NICU.
I've been neglecting my blog, but I had to write this post because I'm just so overcome with emotion right now (I blame the crazy hormones and the fact I've had such a hard time sleeping the past few nights).
As I was preparing for maternity leave, there were a few things I had to make sure I grabbed for home - getting rid of my huge snack drawer at work (lol), some of my personal effects, and namely, my wall calendar. I use my iPhone calendar (which also syncs with DH's) to record all of my appointments, but for some reason, I like seeing it on my wall calendar, as well. It gives me a better picture of the week to come.
Just now, I was sitting here and I looked at my wall calendar, and I saw the "30" written in today's block.
When we first found out I was pregnant, I would start numbering the blocks. At every doctor's appointment/ultrasound/blood draw, they want to know how far along you are, and at first, it was hard for me to remember. Seeing the numbers helped me.
But I remember having this profound fear of numbering the blocks too far in advance - almost like I would jinx myself, and it would cause me to lose one, or both, of the babies.
Whenever we hit a milestone, I would add a few more numbers to the blocks. I don't think it was until after our gender reveal party that I actually numbered the calendar all the way through.
It just blows my mind that I'm 30 weeks pregnant today... That we've made it this far... That things, for all intensive purposes, have gone so unbelievably well. I never thought this day would come, I never thought I'd even BE pregnant, let alone this far along. And I certainly never thought I would be having twins. I just can't stop crying thinking about it. Thinking about all the pain that infertility and the treatments has on your soul, the permanent scars it makes - that I still have days where I wake up and think my belly isn't going to be there anymore. Days where I just wait for something to be wrong because there's no way I'm deserving of all of this. The emotions are just very overwhelming today.
I've been neglecting my blog, but I had to write this post because I'm just so overcome with emotion right now (I blame the crazy hormones and the fact I've had such a hard time sleeping the past few nights).
As I was preparing for maternity leave, there were a few things I had to make sure I grabbed for home - getting rid of my huge snack drawer at work (lol), some of my personal effects, and namely, my wall calendar. I use my iPhone calendar (which also syncs with DH's) to record all of my appointments, but for some reason, I like seeing it on my wall calendar, as well. It gives me a better picture of the week to come.
Just now, I was sitting here and I looked at my wall calendar, and I saw the "30" written in today's block.
When we first found out I was pregnant, I would start numbering the blocks. At every doctor's appointment/ultrasound/blood draw, they want to know how far along you are, and at first, it was hard for me to remember. Seeing the numbers helped me.
But I remember having this profound fear of numbering the blocks too far in advance - almost like I would jinx myself, and it would cause me to lose one, or both, of the babies.
Whenever we hit a milestone, I would add a few more numbers to the blocks. I don't think it was until after our gender reveal party that I actually numbered the calendar all the way through.
It just blows my mind that I'm 30 weeks pregnant today... That we've made it this far... That things, for all intensive purposes, have gone so unbelievably well. I never thought this day would come, I never thought I'd even BE pregnant, let alone this far along. And I certainly never thought I would be having twins. I just can't stop crying thinking about it. Thinking about all the pain that infertility and the treatments has on your soul, the permanent scars it makes - that I still have days where I wake up and think my belly isn't going to be there anymore. Days where I just wait for something to be wrong because there's no way I'm deserving of all of this. The emotions are just very overwhelming today.
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