I got a voicemail from my favorite nurse yesterday. Basically, the RE wants to hold off on doing the lap for now. They want to add an estrogen-based medication to my next cycle (if this one isn't successful) from CD3-CD12. I have the name written down at home so I can do more research on the medication. If my lining doesn't improve with that medication, then they want to do the lap and find out what's going on in there.
However, my nurse also told me a story of a girl with the same lining measurements and grades as me, and that yesterday she got a positive beta. So, she reminded me not to lose hope.
Right now, it's about striking that elusive balance between being hopeful and not getting my hopes up.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
On Cycle #12: 7DPIUI Ultrasound & my crappy lining
Well, even with the daily progesterone injections and the 300mg daily of Endometrin, my lining is still shit - 4mm IE/TL. The TL part is good, but the rest is just shit.
I spoke to my favorite nurse and she plans on asking the RE if I should have laproscopy or a sonogram done to see WTF is causing my lining issues. In most cases, normally, you only see lining like this if a woman has had D&Cs or several infections before. Obviously that's not me since I've never been pregnant and I've never had an infection, so who the hell knows what's going on. She said IVF isn't even an option right now because there just isn't much for the embryos to attach to. As always, she said it's still possible for me to get pregnant, but let's be real here - it hasn't happened yet, so what REALLY are the chances of it happening? She said there are also some other medication options since the Menopur didn't bulk up my lining like they hoped. Her plan is to talk to the RE today to figure out next steps if this cycle isn't successful - hopefully by my call back this afternoon, I should know more.
I cried the entire hour long car ride from when I pulled out of the RE's parking lot to work. I am crying at my desk writing this.
I am physically exhausted from the poking, prodding, injections, suppositories, and all of the side effects. My butt is bruised from the friggin progesterone injections.
I am mentally exhausted from worrying about timing everything correctly and getting to my appointments and trying to figure out what is going on.
I am emotionally exhausted from wondering WHY this is happening to us and WHY other people have babies so easily.
I know it's bad when I hear disappointment in DH's voice when I give him the news.
I am no longer hopeful at all about this cycle and almost want to stop the progesterone injections and the Endometrin because what the fuck is the point?
If it's not one thing with my body, it's another fucking thing.
I am beyond bitter and mad at the world right now.
I spoke to my favorite nurse and she plans on asking the RE if I should have laproscopy or a sonogram done to see WTF is causing my lining issues. In most cases, normally, you only see lining like this if a woman has had D&Cs or several infections before. Obviously that's not me since I've never been pregnant and I've never had an infection, so who the hell knows what's going on. She said IVF isn't even an option right now because there just isn't much for the embryos to attach to. As always, she said it's still possible for me to get pregnant, but let's be real here - it hasn't happened yet, so what REALLY are the chances of it happening? She said there are also some other medication options since the Menopur didn't bulk up my lining like they hoped. Her plan is to talk to the RE today to figure out next steps if this cycle isn't successful - hopefully by my call back this afternoon, I should know more.
I cried the entire hour long car ride from when I pulled out of the RE's parking lot to work. I am crying at my desk writing this.
I am physically exhausted from the poking, prodding, injections, suppositories, and all of the side effects. My butt is bruised from the friggin progesterone injections.
I am mentally exhausted from worrying about timing everything correctly and getting to my appointments and trying to figure out what is going on.
I am emotionally exhausted from wondering WHY this is happening to us and WHY other people have babies so easily.
I know it's bad when I hear disappointment in DH's voice when I give him the news.
I am no longer hopeful at all about this cycle and almost want to stop the progesterone injections and the Endometrin because what the fuck is the point?
If it's not one thing with my body, it's another fucking thing.
I am beyond bitter and mad at the world right now.
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