I had my 7DPIUI bloodwork and ultrasound today. I didn't get my hopes up about my lining, and I'm glad I didn't - it was only 5mm. This is after the increased Endometrin (300mg daily) and alot of hoping and praying on my part.
The nurse, actually, my favorite nurse, just called me a little bit ago with the results and with some news. The office caught on fire today. She said it was really bad and that they are all working off of their cell phones in another building. I felt awful but it speaks to the practice's dedication to their patients.
Anyways, she told me about my lining and asked if I'd been doing my Endometrin as prescribed. I, admittedly, had slacked off in previous cycles, missing doses and what not - but had really been on my game this cycle. I friggin plan my life around this crap and the ridiculous side effects. She said that I need to come in tomorrow to learn how to give myself progesterone shots. Something else to add to my repertoire.
She told me not to lose hope about this cycle (is not losing hope even possible when you are on this journey and the doctor's office calls with any news other than "you're pregnant!"?), but that the RE's recommendation is that if I'm "not pregnant in a few cycles", I should move to injectibles.
The same news the original RE told me.
The reason I sought a 2nd opinion from this practice.
The thing is, moving to injectibles in and of itself is not all that distressing to me. I know it'll be a lifestyle change, and there will be alot of work on my part (not that there isn't already), but I'm accepting of that. I have already accepted that my husband and I will not get pregnant "the easy way". Any baby I have will be the result of endless talks with nurses and doctors, endless needle pokes, endless ultrasounds, and endless tears. We will not ever get to be carefree about this journey. Every little thing will have some meaning to us along the way.
The thing that frightens me about the injectible medications is that if they don't work, it's onto IVF we go.
Of course, DH had already left for work when I got the phone call. So, when I called him with the update, I really tried to stay strong. He asked if injectibles are what I want to do - but the answer is always the same, what choice do I have? I want a child. I'll do whatever I need to do to have a child. THAT is what it comes down to.
I hung up the phone with him and have been just crying since.
I just made this my Facebook status, and it basically completely sums up how I feel - my complete & total Type-A personality
does not understand a task where you do all of your research, follow all
of the directions, do everything right, and still fail. I am not
accustomed to not achieving things I set my mind to and do my best at.
Showing posts with label reproductive endocrinologist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reproductive endocrinologist. Show all posts
Monday, December 3, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
On Cycle #11: CD11 Ultrasound & Bloodwork
I had my bloodwork and follicle scan at the RE's yesterday. I have a 19.6mm follie on my right and my lining is 6mm - which is the thickest it's ever been!!! My E2 was also great at 221!
So, I triggered last night at 7:30pm with 10000 units HCG and I'll IUI Monday at 11am (after bloodwork and ultrasound). I'm so excited. This is the earliest my body has ever produced a mature follicle and the thickest my lining has ever been and it was without meds! So excited!
The only bad thing is that I had another post coital test and again, it showed no spermies. So either my mucus is still too thick (even with the 2400mg Mucinex daily) or it's too acidic and it's killing DH's boys. Basically, the best solution is to do IUI to bypass the CM.
On the weight loss front, I weighed in on Thursday (because I knew Thanksgiving would be detrimental to my Friday morning weigh-in) and I weighed... the exact same as last week. BUT, I did go to the gym Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Edited to add: I just logged my weight in the WW system, and actually, I lost 0.3lbs, lol.
I've been totally slacking off of tracking my food since Thanksgiving, which is bad, but I'm getting back on track tomorrow. Today is going to be spent in bed because I'm sick - sinusy, sore throat, muscle aches, just feeling crappy. I'm sad I had to miss my workout, which I desperately needed, but my body needs to rest. I won't be able to hit the gym again until Wednesday after work, so I'll only get 1 workout in before my weigh-in this week. :(
So, I triggered last night at 7:30pm with 10000 units HCG and I'll IUI Monday at 11am (after bloodwork and ultrasound). I'm so excited. This is the earliest my body has ever produced a mature follicle and the thickest my lining has ever been and it was without meds! So excited!
The only bad thing is that I had another post coital test and again, it showed no spermies. So either my mucus is still too thick (even with the 2400mg Mucinex daily) or it's too acidic and it's killing DH's boys. Basically, the best solution is to do IUI to bypass the CM.
On the weight loss front, I weighed in on Thursday (because I knew Thanksgiving would be detrimental to my Friday morning weigh-in) and I weighed... the exact same as last week. BUT, I did go to the gym Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Edited to add: I just logged my weight in the WW system, and actually, I lost 0.3lbs, lol.
I've been totally slacking off of tracking my food since Thanksgiving, which is bad, but I'm getting back on track tomorrow. Today is going to be spent in bed because I'm sick - sinusy, sore throat, muscle aches, just feeling crappy. I'm sad I had to miss my workout, which I desperately needed, but my body needs to rest. I won't be able to hit the gym again until Wednesday after work, so I'll only get 1 workout in before my weigh-in this week. :(
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
On 2nd Opinions
I had an appointment for my beta test after the 2nd IUI on the same day as my "next steps" appointment with the head of the practice, Dr. S. While I was at this appointment, he broke the news to me that I had already known from my obsessive POAS - that I wasn't pregnant. He then went on to tell me that the oral medications had thinned my lining too much (duh, I was the one who brought that up before), and that I NEEDED to move to injectible medications in order to get pregnant. He suggested a "break cycle" and then moving directly to them.
This information shocked me - when did things get so dire? I was always under the impression that I may be able to get pregnant on my own, but that due to my own desire to "be aggressive", that's why we took the medication route. Now he's telling me that I need the injects to get pregnant? This news was beyond devastating for me. I consoled myself with a pizza, a bottle of wine, and my jacuzzi tub that night. I literally cried through the night, and when DH came home from work, I was still sobbing in bed.
The next day, I started some online research and chatting with a friend who I knew had suffered from infertility before (but now had 2 healthy children). She told me of her similar experience at the RE practice, and convinced me to make a "2nd opinion appointment" at another RE practice about an hour away. I called and made the appointment, which was about 3 weeks away.
I went and got a copy of my chart from the old RE's office, and much to my surprise, throughout the chart, there were things indicating that "patient may be able to get pregnant on her own", which was certainly different from what was portrayed to me in that last appointment. Was it possible they were only recommending this treatment because they knew my insurance would cover it?
During this time, I had a "break cycle" with no temping, no OPKs, nothing. This cycle, I'm assuming due to the oral meds still in my body, lasted only 18 days. That frightened me. Had I done irrepairable damage to my body?
I ignored the calls from the fertility pharmacy and the old RE's office about starting injectibles, I needed some sort of indication from an outside source that my situation WAS that dire and I anxiously awaited my appointment with the new RE.
From the moment I met the new RE (Dr. C), I knew things would be different. First of all, the appointment lasted over 3 hours. He spends the majority of that time talking to you (a foreign concept this day and age, it seems), and telling you about research & studies he's done, and papers he's published, relating to your certain issue. He goes over everything, including his recommended "next steps". For me, he said he wanted to give DH a more comprehensive semen analysis to check for antibodies. He also wanted to do an ultrasound and bloodwork that day, and have me come back in a week. His suggestion was to just monitor my cycle, add progesterone after ovulation, and possibly use Menopur to "boost" my follicles if the monitoring showed they weren't maturing fast enough on their own (a common issue for women with luteal phase defect, apparently). He also wants to do a post-coital test (to make sure DH's sperm are able to thrive in my cervical mucus), and then IUI, if I want. He said he doesn't see a need for oral ovulation medications or injectible medications to stimulate my ovaries - exact opposite of what the other doctor said.
I left that office feeling so confident. Not only did he have expertise in my problem (luteal phase defect) but his treatment plans were based upon research and studies that HE conducted. Absolutely amazing.
This information shocked me - when did things get so dire? I was always under the impression that I may be able to get pregnant on my own, but that due to my own desire to "be aggressive", that's why we took the medication route. Now he's telling me that I need the injects to get pregnant? This news was beyond devastating for me. I consoled myself with a pizza, a bottle of wine, and my jacuzzi tub that night. I literally cried through the night, and when DH came home from work, I was still sobbing in bed.
The next day, I started some online research and chatting with a friend who I knew had suffered from infertility before (but now had 2 healthy children). She told me of her similar experience at the RE practice, and convinced me to make a "2nd opinion appointment" at another RE practice about an hour away. I called and made the appointment, which was about 3 weeks away.
I went and got a copy of my chart from the old RE's office, and much to my surprise, throughout the chart, there were things indicating that "patient may be able to get pregnant on her own", which was certainly different from what was portrayed to me in that last appointment. Was it possible they were only recommending this treatment because they knew my insurance would cover it?
During this time, I had a "break cycle" with no temping, no OPKs, nothing. This cycle, I'm assuming due to the oral meds still in my body, lasted only 18 days. That frightened me. Had I done irrepairable damage to my body?
I ignored the calls from the fertility pharmacy and the old RE's office about starting injectibles, I needed some sort of indication from an outside source that my situation WAS that dire and I anxiously awaited my appointment with the new RE.
From the moment I met the new RE (Dr. C), I knew things would be different. First of all, the appointment lasted over 3 hours. He spends the majority of that time talking to you (a foreign concept this day and age, it seems), and telling you about research & studies he's done, and papers he's published, relating to your certain issue. He goes over everything, including his recommended "next steps". For me, he said he wanted to give DH a more comprehensive semen analysis to check for antibodies. He also wanted to do an ultrasound and bloodwork that day, and have me come back in a week. His suggestion was to just monitor my cycle, add progesterone after ovulation, and possibly use Menopur to "boost" my follicles if the monitoring showed they weren't maturing fast enough on their own (a common issue for women with luteal phase defect, apparently). He also wants to do a post-coital test (to make sure DH's sperm are able to thrive in my cervical mucus), and then IUI, if I want. He said he doesn't see a need for oral ovulation medications or injectible medications to stimulate my ovaries - exact opposite of what the other doctor said.
I left that office feeling so confident. Not only did he have expertise in my problem (luteal phase defect) but his treatment plans were based upon research and studies that HE conducted. Absolutely amazing.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
On My 2nd Medicated Cycle - Tamoxifen/Ovidrel/IUI/Progesterone
My 2nd Medicated Cycle was to be 20mg Tamoxifen CD3-CD7, an ultrasound and bloodwork on CD12, and an Ovidrel trigger to spur ovulation 36 hours prior to IUI, and then IUI.
Tamoxifen, compared to Clomid, was a breeze. I still felt a little moody, but not nearly as bad as when I was on the Clomid.
When I went for my CD12 ultrasound and bloodwork, Dr. VD saw 4mm lining, and a 20mm follice on right. Not exactly a stellar response, and the thin lining was still an issue. He mentioned that next cycle, I should take estrogen after the Tamoxifen to try to thicken up my lining, but again, didn't seem very concerned. I mentioned that I may want to switch to injects if this doesn't work, and he suggested I set up another consult appointment for it.
I got a call from the RE's office later that day stating that my bloodwork showed I was surging on my own, so I needed to do my trigger shot ASAP and come in for IUI the following day. This "shake up" of events really startled me. I was very concerned about timing and about my lining and the follicle size. Neither my lining nor the follicle would have any time to grow before IUI. We went ahead with it, but I did not feel confident at all. However, in looking at my chart after IUI, I thought I was for sure pregnant. Of course, I wasn't.
Tamoxifen, compared to Clomid, was a breeze. I still felt a little moody, but not nearly as bad as when I was on the Clomid.
When I went for my CD12 ultrasound and bloodwork, Dr. VD saw 4mm lining, and a 20mm follice on right. Not exactly a stellar response, and the thin lining was still an issue. He mentioned that next cycle, I should take estrogen after the Tamoxifen to try to thicken up my lining, but again, didn't seem very concerned. I mentioned that I may want to switch to injects if this doesn't work, and he suggested I set up another consult appointment for it.
I got a call from the RE's office later that day stating that my bloodwork showed I was surging on my own, so I needed to do my trigger shot ASAP and come in for IUI the following day. This "shake up" of events really startled me. I was very concerned about timing and about my lining and the follicle size. Neither my lining nor the follicle would have any time to grow before IUI. We went ahead with it, but I did not feel confident at all. However, in looking at my chart after IUI, I thought I was for sure pregnant. Of course, I wasn't.
On My 1st Medicated Cycle - Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI/Progesterone
My 1st Medicated Cycle was to be 50mg Clomid CD3-CD7, an ultrasound and bloodwork on CD12, and an Ovidrel trigger to spur ovulation 36 hours prior to IUI, and then IUI.
Clomid, in and of itself, only added to my crazy lady behavior. I am, by nature, a very passionate and emotional person. If you want an opinion on something, ask me, because I'll always be honest. It may not be what you exactly want to hear, but I'll try to watch my delivery but still give you the truth. Now, take that personality, multiply it by 10, add in headaches and fatigue, and general crankiness and you get me on Clomid. It was a rough few days, and I stand by my statement that R is a saint for dealing with me.
On CD12, I went in for my bloodwork and ultrasound. Dr. VD saw 4mm lining, a 23mm follice on the right ovary, and 14mm & 15mm follicles on left. He said the 2 on the left may not be big enough by IUI, but you never know. I was given instructions to trigger that night at 9:30pm, and then come in for IUI 2 days later. R would drop his sample off at 8:30am and I'd come in at 9:30am.
I was beyond excited that night. We were also told to BD, and I was definitely into it. ;) A friend of mine gave me the trigger because I was scared to do it myself, but it wasn't bad at all.
2 days later, I went in for my IUI. R couldn't come because he had to work. All in all, it was a very simple process. I had to sign a piece of paper that told me all about R's little guys, and confirming I was receiving his sperm. Thank the lord I was the only IUI that day, so there was no real concern, but still, lol. The process felt much less uncomfortable than a Pap, and I had to lay there for 20 minutes afterwards. I tried to practice visualization of the sperm meeting the egg and singing a little song that some friends and I had made up (the sperm will find the egg, the sperm will find the egg, hi ho the dairy-o, the sperm will find the egg).
Something that had concerned me was how thin my lining was at the ultrasound. I brought this up to the doctor who performed my IUI (Dr. S, the head of the practice), and he had me start progesterone vaginal suppositories 3DPIUI. He didn't seem super concerned about my lining and neither did the nurse. I had asked if I could switch to something other than Clomid for my next cycle, if it was unsuccessful, to try to alleviate the lining issue - the doctor agreed.
Now, to wait. I had to wait a week and come back for progesterone bloodwork... and then wait another week to come in for my beta. As you can tell by my chart, I started testing on my own at home, so I wasn't totally shocked when my beta came back negative. It was, by far, the hardest cycle for me when AF came. I had a friend who had similar issues to mine and went this treatment route and got pregnant on her first try with it, so it was devastating to me that I didn't. I also had a baby shower for that same friend that weekend, which only added to my personal pity party.
Something that TTC/infertility constantly brings up for me is this feeling of being happy for someone when they get pregnant, but also incredibly jealous and feeling betrayed by my body.
Clomid, in and of itself, only added to my crazy lady behavior. I am, by nature, a very passionate and emotional person. If you want an opinion on something, ask me, because I'll always be honest. It may not be what you exactly want to hear, but I'll try to watch my delivery but still give you the truth. Now, take that personality, multiply it by 10, add in headaches and fatigue, and general crankiness and you get me on Clomid. It was a rough few days, and I stand by my statement that R is a saint for dealing with me.
On CD12, I went in for my bloodwork and ultrasound. Dr. VD saw 4mm lining, a 23mm follice on the right ovary, and 14mm & 15mm follicles on left. He said the 2 on the left may not be big enough by IUI, but you never know. I was given instructions to trigger that night at 9:30pm, and then come in for IUI 2 days later. R would drop his sample off at 8:30am and I'd come in at 9:30am.
I was beyond excited that night. We were also told to BD, and I was definitely into it. ;) A friend of mine gave me the trigger because I was scared to do it myself, but it wasn't bad at all.
2 days later, I went in for my IUI. R couldn't come because he had to work. All in all, it was a very simple process. I had to sign a piece of paper that told me all about R's little guys, and confirming I was receiving his sperm. Thank the lord I was the only IUI that day, so there was no real concern, but still, lol. The process felt much less uncomfortable than a Pap, and I had to lay there for 20 minutes afterwards. I tried to practice visualization of the sperm meeting the egg and singing a little song that some friends and I had made up (the sperm will find the egg, the sperm will find the egg, hi ho the dairy-o, the sperm will find the egg).
Something that had concerned me was how thin my lining was at the ultrasound. I brought this up to the doctor who performed my IUI (Dr. S, the head of the practice), and he had me start progesterone vaginal suppositories 3DPIUI. He didn't seem super concerned about my lining and neither did the nurse. I had asked if I could switch to something other than Clomid for my next cycle, if it was unsuccessful, to try to alleviate the lining issue - the doctor agreed.
Now, to wait. I had to wait a week and come back for progesterone bloodwork... and then wait another week to come in for my beta. As you can tell by my chart, I started testing on my own at home, so I wasn't totally shocked when my beta came back negative. It was, by far, the hardest cycle for me when AF came. I had a friend who had similar issues to mine and went this treatment route and got pregnant on her first try with it, so it was devastating to me that I didn't. I also had a baby shower for that same friend that weekend, which only added to my personal pity party.
Something that TTC/infertility constantly brings up for me is this feeling of being happy for someone when they get pregnant, but also incredibly jealous and feeling betrayed by my body.
On Visiting the RE
I made an appointment with a local practice of Reproductive Endocrinologists (REs) aka fertility specialists.
About 3 years prior to our wedding (and actually before I was even dating R), I had a bout of unexplained lower abdominal pain. I had a colonoscopy done and nothing was found. I had gone to several doctors and no one could figure out what the issue was. I had my yearly appointment with my ob/gyn and she said "well, let's explore this". I ended up having a transvaginal ultrasound done, and during the exam, they noted that I may have a bicornuate uterus. (The reason behind the abdominal pain was never discovered.) My ob/gyn recommended I see a fertility specialist, so I ended up at my RE's office.
I had an appointment with Dr. VD, who I loved from the moment I met him. He explained the issues associated with having a bicornuate or septate uterus, and basically said that there is a procedure done to diagnosis it, and then if I did have it, I could have a surgical procedure done to correct it. He said it was up to me if I wanted to explore it now, explore it once I'm ready to have kids, or explore it if I have recurrent miscarriages. I decided to just wait overall.
About a year out from our wedding, R & I went back to Dr. VD to explore the issues with my uterus. After performing the hysteroscopy, he noted that I did not have a septate or bicornuate uterus, which was of huge relief to me.
So, when I needed to return to the RE to explore my luteal phase issues, I knew I wanted to see Dr. VD. Initially, we met with another doctor in the practice for our consult. I brought in all of my charts from Fertility Friend, and we spent about 20 minutes with the doctor. She explained that my luteal phases were definitely short but that I was definitely ovulating, so she suggested we run through the fertility testing to see what we came up with, and then have another consult.
Through all of the testing of both of us, we were found to both be pretty normal. I had slightly low progesterone after ovulation, but really, that was the only issue they could find. Dr. VD then discussed treatment options with me. He said if we wanted to be really aggressive, I could start Clomid, with a trigger shot, and then if we really wanted to "up our chances" we could do IUI. He felt taking the Clomid would bring my ovulation date up, and naturally lengthen my luteal phase. I agreed that this treatment plan seemed like the best option. Dr. VD assured me that most women in my scenario would get pregnant within 3 cycles of this regimen.
About 3 years prior to our wedding (and actually before I was even dating R), I had a bout of unexplained lower abdominal pain. I had a colonoscopy done and nothing was found. I had gone to several doctors and no one could figure out what the issue was. I had my yearly appointment with my ob/gyn and she said "well, let's explore this". I ended up having a transvaginal ultrasound done, and during the exam, they noted that I may have a bicornuate uterus. (The reason behind the abdominal pain was never discovered.) My ob/gyn recommended I see a fertility specialist, so I ended up at my RE's office.
I had an appointment with Dr. VD, who I loved from the moment I met him. He explained the issues associated with having a bicornuate or septate uterus, and basically said that there is a procedure done to diagnosis it, and then if I did have it, I could have a surgical procedure done to correct it. He said it was up to me if I wanted to explore it now, explore it once I'm ready to have kids, or explore it if I have recurrent miscarriages. I decided to just wait overall.
About a year out from our wedding, R & I went back to Dr. VD to explore the issues with my uterus. After performing the hysteroscopy, he noted that I did not have a septate or bicornuate uterus, which was of huge relief to me.
So, when I needed to return to the RE to explore my luteal phase issues, I knew I wanted to see Dr. VD. Initially, we met with another doctor in the practice for our consult. I brought in all of my charts from Fertility Friend, and we spent about 20 minutes with the doctor. She explained that my luteal phases were definitely short but that I was definitely ovulating, so she suggested we run through the fertility testing to see what we came up with, and then have another consult.
Through all of the testing of both of us, we were found to both be pretty normal. I had slightly low progesterone after ovulation, but really, that was the only issue they could find. Dr. VD then discussed treatment options with me. He said if we wanted to be really aggressive, I could start Clomid, with a trigger shot, and then if we really wanted to "up our chances" we could do IUI. He felt taking the Clomid would bring my ovulation date up, and naturally lengthen my luteal phase. I agreed that this treatment plan seemed like the best option. Dr. VD assured me that most women in my scenario would get pregnant within 3 cycles of this regimen.
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